


Lie back and think of Wallachia

by Nordra



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series, 悪魔城伝説 | Castlevania lll: Dracula's Curse
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Gen, Humor, Implied Relationships, M/M, Multi, Shotgun Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 21:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14724314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nordra/pseuds/Nordra
Summary: [insert word for a medieval shotgun wedding here]Warning: Trevor uses crude language, Grant too.





	Lie back and think of Wallachia

_Fuckfuckfuckfuck_

That was the only thought running through Trevor’s mind at the moment while his throat was being squeezed by a clawed hand and his feet kicked in the air. 

Yeah, he could totally see just where Alucard got his height.

Dracula was sneering at the Hunter, digging his claws on the skin at Trevor’s neck, causing rivulets of blood to run down. "End of the line for you, Belmont."

The battle had not turned out in their favour. Trevor’s companions had been beaten and were scattered around the Throne Room, unable to help the Belmont Heir. And their leader himself was currently been strangled by the enemy. Grant was on the ground wheezing after he had been thrown into a wall, fracturing few ribs. The sounds indicated that his lung might have collapsed. Next to him kneeling was Sypha, her right-hand bend into an unnatural angle and blue robes torn by multiple cuts. On the opposite side, the room was Alucard, the least injured out of the three but held down by Dracula’s magic, tendrils of dark energy tying him up and negating all his supernatural powers. Though he put on one hell of a struggle to get free.

Trevor hissed, trying to claw Dracula’s hand away from his neck with one hand, struggling to breathe. His left one was currently broken and totally useless. Or else he would have reached to one of his daggers and sank right down to this fucker’s eye.

"I'd compliment you for a valiant effort," Vampire Lord mused. "Shame that I'm in not in the mood for lying, though."

"Sorry to disappoint," Trevor spat, glaring at the vampire in defiance, wondering if it would be juvenile to spat on the monster's face. "How about letting go and standing still for a moment? I'll promise to drive the stake into your black heart this time."

"Hah, witty retorts? How disappointing, Leon was much more fluent in those," Dracula said. "Seems your line has fallen far from the past days. Well, the shame is shortlived. Just like you, Belmont."

Dracula grabbed Hunter's hair with his free hand, claws nearly ripping the brown hair off as he roughly tilted Trevor's head, revealing human's throat. Revealing his lengthened fangs, Dark Lord was ready to rip the human's throat open when he noticed something on Belmont's neck. "What's this?" Dracula mused, eyeing the very distinctive marks on human's skin. 

Fang marks. Vampire's teeth to be exact.

Dracula frowned, annoyed. Despite his mockery, he had wanted to be the one to let the young Belmont experience just how it felt when your blood was drained while the victim was helpless. And now one of his servants had gotten the Belmont first - _wait._ He leaned forward, examining the marks while Trevor tried to wriggle and put more distance between his exposed throat and the monster. "I know these fang marks…"

Vampire Lord's eyes bugged out as the realization hit him and suddenly Trevor found himself dropped to the ground. 

Right on his ass.

Cursing as his broken arm took the most of the impact, Trevor's only working hand shot instinctively to look for his short sword but stopped as he noticed that Dracula was looking... well, freaked out.

"Adrian! What were you thinking!?" Dracula was downright pale, ...err, paler than usual as he looked at the dhampir. He disintegrated and rematerialized next to the half-breed, grabbing Alucard's shoulders and pulling him up, eyes running all over dhampir. "Are you alright?! No nausea?! Fever?! Rash?!"

"Father, what…?" Alucard spluttered as Dracula put a hand on his forehead like trying to check his temperature. While the dhampir was still bound.

"Haven't I told you not to eat just anything found along the road?! You can never know just where they’ve been!! You could get ill or worse, young man!"

Ok, what the hell?!

Trevor stared at the suddenly fussing and ranting vampire. Alucard himself was looking almost equally shocked as Belmont and slightly annoyed if the nearly unnoticeable twitch at the corner of his right eye was anything to tell by.

"The one time you drink blood and it had to be a Belmont?! Just look at him, who knows what kind of parasites he has!"

Alright, now Trevor was getting pissed and insulted. "Hey, you try to travel on foot for months, killing demons and not to look like shit! And parasites? You're the one who is an overgrown vermin here!"

"Dammit Belmont," Sypha murmured. "Not the best place to mouth off..."

"For the information, I did travel yet never looked so raggy!" Dracula spat, eyeing Trevor like he was something foul stuck on the bottom of his shoes. "There’s no way I’ll stand for my son putting his mouth on something as _foul_ as Belmont!"

"Well, he seems to like it! If just what he does with that mouth of his is any indicator-!”

"Belmont, for the love of your God! Stop!" Alucard hissed.

"That's exactly the opposite what you said a few nights ago, Fangs -!"

"BELMONT!!"

It was then that Trevor finally remembered just where they were.

_Shit._

Whole Throne Room was deadly silent.

"Knew it," Grant snorted, wincing in pain at the sudden movement and looked at Sypha. "You owe me five coins, missy."

"Damn. And I really thought that Trevor's the bottom."

"You…" Dracula snarled, baring his fangs and eyes glowing with unholy crimson light. "You vile mortal! My only son, defiled by a Belmont!!"

Great, so this is how it ends. Death by overprotective daddy-vampire. Ugh, his ancestors had to be pissing themselves either in laughter or shame...

"This insult shall not be easily forgiven, Belmont!"

"Father please, calm down!"

"No," the ancient vampire snarled. "There's only one solution for this! DEATH!"

Death? Weren't they already at that point?

Suddenly, a large skeleton dressed in robes appeared out of thin air next to Dracula. Grant swore and Sypha's healthy hand began to glow as the tiny, weak flames danced between her fingers, getting ready to the possibly a last desperate fight. Alucard, on the other hand, frowned, golden eyes quickly shifting between his father and the skeleton.

 _"That's a big-ass scythe,"_ Trevor thought as empty eye sockets moved from one individual to another while the skeleton floated and adjusted _his? hers? its?_ weapon over the shoulder.

 **"My Lord?"** Skeleton rasped (definitely him) and bowed his head for Dracula.

"Alert the residents of the Castle, Death. I want every creature to work. There's a lot of preparations to make for the ceremony!"

Ceremony? Oh great, were they going to end up as a ritual sacrifice? Just fantastic.

**"May I inquire about what's this occasion for, My Lord?"**

"The wedding, of course! Adrian and Belmont are going to be wed!"

Wait, what?!

Alucard groaned and would have probably buried his face in hands if he could move them. "Father, seriously? Aren't you going little too far? _Again?_ "

"Shush son," Dracula waved dhampir's comment aside. "I'm giving Belmont a change to make up for his shameful actions."

"Say what the fuck?!" Trevor shouted as jumped on his feet, ignoring the pain of his injuries. "What the everloving fuck is this bullshit?!"

Dracula frowned at the human. "Do clean up your vocabulary, human. I will not have my son-in-law to use such a vile language."

"Son-in-... Oh hell no!" Trevor vigorously shook his head. "How the hell we went from the fucking battle-to-death to bloody marriage?!"

While Trevor was shouting, Sypha had deduced that at least for a while there was no fighting in sight and helped Grant to sit against the wall near Alucard before she knelt next to the dhampir who was currently sitting on the floor while still bound by Dracula's magic. "Alucard. What... exactly is going on with your father?"

Half-breed sighed exasperatedly while Trevor and his father were continuing their shouting match. "He's overreacting, as usual."

"I'm not going to marry him! No bloody way! ...no offence, Alucard, okay?" Trevor looked over at this companions and the dhampir merely shrugged as well as he could while bound.

Dracula snarled at the Hunter. "You dishonoured Adrian and therefore you shall do right by him!"

"Dishonoured?!"

"You are going to marry my son, mortal. And you are going to love and cherish him for the rest of your life, am I understood?!"

"Only thing I understand that you're a demented motherfu-...!"

"Umm, excuse me? Lord Dracula?" Sypha had gotten up and came near the two, ignoring Trevor's protests and looked up at Dracula.

"Trevor's just little stressed out, you see," she said, slapping her good hand over Trevor's mouth as he nearly began to shout again. "He's having a hard time to focus the matter at the hand because of what's been going around. You know; the death, destruction, the demon hordes..."

"Ah, of course. I almost forgot." Vampire Lord brightened and looked at his servant. "Death, call off the Horde."

"Wait, just like that?" Grant blinked.

"Well, I got it out my system for a while ago, anyway. Consider it as a wedding gift," Dracula shrugged and then tapped his chin. "Besides Lisa would kill me if I kept the genocide going on our son's wedding night."

The pirate looked at his comrades. "Okay, am I the only one who thinks that our story turned into something that a drunkard tells in hopes for a free pint?"

Ignoring Grant, the Dark Lord then looked again at Trevor, assessing him with critical eyes. "Hmm, not the ideal spouse for Adrian that I'd have preferred but guess it could be worse. You do in fact have some of Leon's features in you..." Vampire then moved to his son, snapped his fingers and the bindings disappeared around the dhampir. Dracula grabbed Alucard's forearm, pulled him up and brushed some dust from his clothes, frowning as he took in their state before clucking his tongue.

"Now, chop chop, Adrian. No son of mine gets married in worn travel clothes! We need to find you something more suitable. Have you been rolling on the haystacks? Your hair is dreadful!" 

Pushing his son ahead of him through a conjured portal, Dracula called over his shoulder. "Death, call for the fairies to tend mortals' injuries, can't really have them dying during the ceremony. And someone, give Belmont a bath!" Vampire and dhampir disappeared while the son was protesting his father's antics. 

Death, left with three humans, sighed. **"Very well, follow me. I shall show you quarters where you can freshen up."** The skeletal being then eyed Grant. **"Hmm, maybe not. You undoubtedly can't get very far."** Tapping his scythe on the ground, the floor under the humans lit up, the light blinding them for a moment.

When their sight returned, the three found themselves in a very lavish room. The fire was burning in a grand fireplace situated between two bookcases that reached from floor to ceiling and in front of the fireplace was very comfortable-looking sofa along with two chairs. The marble floor was covered with a carpet that looked like something that only the royalty had money for. On one wall was a large window, the moon illuminating the forest outside.

Death looked at the mortals, his voice rasping, **"Make yourselves comfortable. The fairies shall arrive in a moment, let them work. Your injuries will be healed much quicker than with any of your own methods. If you're in need of sustenance, they can provide it."** Pointing a bony finger towards one of two doors in the room, he continued, **"There's the bathroom. I'd suggest at least you take an advance of it, Belmont. Like Lord Dracula _insisted._ "** Vanishing out of the sight, the Reaper left them alone.

Deciding that it was useless to just stand around, Sypha helped Grant down on the chair slowly, not to aggravate his injuries while Trevor walked to the window, checking how high they were and if they could escape through it.

"Don't even think about," Sypha's voice cut through the silence.

"Already did," Belmont said. "I say we wait for those fairies do they thing, assuming they are not going to poison us or anything, find a way out of here, get Alucard and retreat for regrouping."

"You know, Dracula may just lose his marbles completely if you elope with Alucard," Sypha pointed out.

"Sorry, since when do we care about what Dracula wants?" Trevor frowned, turning around to look at his two remaining companions. "And enough with that wedding crap! I am not marrying Alucard!" Trevor said.

"Oh yes, you are, Trevor."

"Grant, talk to her!"

"Whoa, leave me out of this, mate," Grant lifted his hands up, wincing due to the sudden movement. "I'd like to keep my balls intact, you know."

Just then the fairies arrived. Tiny creatures looked really out of the place in the demonic castle, as they fluttered around, flying up and down with sparkling wings and chattering with voices that sounded like chimes. They gave them potions, although Trevor looked ready to toss the vial back at them, and used magic to set the bones straight and heal Grant's lung. And even without asking, three of them magicked the low coffee table in front of the sofa full of food and drinks. Grant nearly drooled at the sight of a pot roast.

"Really? You just going to eat that?" Belmont scrunched his nose as the pirate dug right into the meat. "Wouldn't put it past Dracula to serve human meat."

"If so then this human tastes awfully like a pork," Grant munched. "Trust me, I know my meats."

"Dammit, Grant! Stop fattening yourself! We need to get going!"

"Getting wedding jitters, Belmont?" Grant quirked an eyebrow.

"Hell! Why are you both so calm about this?!" Trevor looked at the Speaker whose hair was currently being combed by one tiny fairy.

"Think, Belmont," Sypha said. "We can bring an end to this war without any further bloodshed!"

"At the cost of my ass!"

"Should have thought that before fucking the Vampire Prince."

"Shut up, Grant."

"No you shut up, Trevor, Now listen: like it or not, this is going to happen. We'll probably never get a chance like this again! So lie back and think of Wallachia," Speaker paused and thought for the moment, before smirking. "But since you did the former already... Just think of Wallachia."

Grant was snorting in laughter while Trevor felt his face turning warm and probably red as he plopped down on the sofa, folding his arms without pain now that the fairies had healed his and others' injuries. "I hate you guys."

"Trevor," Sypha rose from her chair, making the tiny fairy yell as her work was interrupted and moved to sit next to the Hunter. Putting her hand on Trevor's shoulder, she looked at him. "This is an unexpected situation, I know. But maybe it would be a good thing. Dracula's done horrible things but everything he did was due to the loss of his wife. Did you not see how he acted towards Alucard? Clearly, he has still some... goodness in him if he cares so much for his son."

"Kinda surprising," Grant said between bites. "I got the feeling from Alucard's words that Dracula was pretty much ready to wipe us all out, even him."

"I think even Alucard though that," the Speaker said.

Trevor sighed, carding fingers through his hair. "My ancestors are fucking laughing at me, I know it..."

"Come now, it's Alucard," Sypha nudged him with an elbow. "Not like you're getting to married to a complete stranger."

"It was _you_ I wanted to marry!" Trevor blurted out, before smacking himself on the face. "Shit, did not mean to say that..."

Sypha blinked while Grant whistled.

"Oh," the mage blushed. "Umm, thank you?"

"Oh, to hell with it," Trevor sighed. "I'm fucking in love with you, Sypha. And I decided that if we got out of this alive, I'll propose. So there."

"That's the most unromantic shit I've ever witnessed," Grant said after a moment of silence and Belmont flipped him off. Not taking offence to that, the pirate continued, "If so, then why did you screw Alucard?"

"I don't know," Trevor threw his hands up. "The guy's stupidly pretty and it just happened! And kept happening." He muttered to himself, "Stupid floating vampire Jesus with gorgeous hair..."

"Do you care about him?"

Trevor looked at Sypha shocked, before quickly averting his eyes, cheeks flaming. "Yeah, I do. But I also care about you, too."

"Hey hello? What about me?" Grant suddenly pointed to himself, feeling little left out.

"Yeah yeah, love you too," Trevor rolled his eyes. "Just not like that. Happy?"

"Yep. Don't really want to see you naked either, Belmont."

"Well," Sypha interrupted the men. "I do not say that your feelings are unwelcome, Belmont. We need to sort this out but firstly, we have to save Wallachia. Your future father-in-law may just annihilate the land if you call off the wedding."

"Oh God," Trevor covered his face. "Do not use that word about him, please."

"So which one of you wears the dress?"

"GRANT!"

"Just asking!"

***

Shooing away the fairy that still kept trying to groom his hair, Trevor shifted restlessly from foot to foot. 

"He's kinda cute. For a human."

"Smells funny, though."

"Aaw, look at that pout!"

Ignoring the whispers of the monsters around him, Trevor glanced towards Sypha and Grant who stood little farther away from him. Trevor himself was standing in front of the altar, with Death next to him. And just how the hell did this place have a bloody chapel and why did the whole charade take place in it?

Suddenly, the dark portal emerged before them, Dracula stepping out of it. The Vampire Lord looked positively radiant, and that was really disturbing, as he looked around the chapel, before spreading his hands, "Denizens of the darkness! This is a joyous night indeed! Tonight your Prince, my beloved son will marry the last descendant of the Belmont Clan."

Oh God, was he really...?

Yep, he was. Dracula was _crying_. Literally bloody tears.

Just how was this Trevor's life?

"Wow," Grant whistled causing Trevor to look at him before following the pirate's line of eyesight along with every occupant of the grand hall. Trevor's jaw dropped, nearly hitting the door while Sypha sighed admiratively. 

At the grand doorway to the chapel stood Alucard.

Dhampir's attire was similar to what he had been wearing during their journey. Just... more elaborate. And he was wearing a bloody high collared cloak like Dracula. Which insides was changing colours... What the hell? 

The dhampir sighed before starting to walk towards the altar, the cloak flowing behind with each step. Every beast, zombie, spectre and other monstrosities bowed low when Alucard passed them.

"Oh look at the Prince!"

"He's so beautiful!"

"I'm so jealous! Human gets to tap that!"

 _"Sonofabitch,"_ Trevor just realized it. Alucard's a bloody _Prince!_ Prince of monsters, sure but still. Trevor's going to marry the son of his family's worst enemy whose not only a half-vampire but also sodding _royalty!_

_Shit._

Alucard reached the altar, looking briefly at Sypha and Grant who gave respectively a warm smile and a thumbs-up before turning and meeting his father's eyes. Dracula actually sniffed as he pulled the dhampir in an embrace, making the younger immortal roll his eyes but he still gave his father a pat on back. Pulling away, he tried smooth few blond locks in a proper place while Alucard gave him an unamused stare. Finally, Dracula left his son alone, stepping back as Alucard turned to face Trevor. Death, who apparently was a giant jackass, nudged the Hunter on the legs with the pole of his scythe, forcing him to face the dhampir too. Glaring at the Reaper, Trevor thought about making a rude gesture but somehow desisted.

Deciding to ignore the grinning skeleton, and he was definitely grinning, Trevor looked Alucard from head to toe. The dhampir had been pretty already but _damn_ if he wasn't downright beautiful right now. Trevor actually felt little too attracted to him right now, but he was just a human, alright?

"Belmont, I'd advise you to stop thinking what you are thinking."

"Wha- How the heck did you -?" Trevor nearly jumped at Alucard's sudden voice. "Are you are fucking _telepath_ now, too?"

"No," Alucard gave him a pointed look. "But not counting you, Grant and Lady Sypha, everyone in this chapel can smell just where your mind has wandered off to."

So that's why the succubi and other demoness' where snickering and giggling. And why Dracula was giving him such an evil eye.

The ceremony was mostly of Dracula giving a speech, when he actually could speak amidst the sniffing and sobbing that is, and the monsters voicing their recognition of the union between their Prince and the Hunter. After that, they were ushered in a grand ballroom where celebration got underway. Long tables were laden with surprisingly human-friendly foods and drinks. But what's with the dozens of roasted chickens? Looked like every chicken in the country got barbecued for the party.

As astounding as it was, Trevor's human companions got along fine with the beasts they were just a few hours ago busy killing. Warriors and knights in heavy armour were busy chatting with Grant while a group of witches had crowded Sypha and most likely asked for her to show her magic since Speaker's hands were glowing.

Trevor himself got his share of monster encounters alright. Aside from creatures congratulating and giving him best wishes for marriage, a few rather robust werewolves came over and asked if the Belmont Heir would be interested in sparring.

A Belmont never backed up from the challenge, so he agreed. Still, there was only so much he could take. Thankfully, he finally managed to slip away soon, though. Not that the celebrators minded, being too busy partying.

The Belmont Heir needed a drink and fast. So he made his way to the table in the farthest corner of the ballroom that was as loaded as any other table but scarcely occupied. Eyes rummaging the servings, he was slightly startled when something nudged him on the shoulder. Looking over, Trevor's eyes met a tankard. "Mead or ale?"

Alucard smirked. "Ale."

"Oh thank God," Trevor snatched the offered item and sipped from it, sighing as he slumped on the bench. Alucard sat next to him, crossing his legs. Quite a sight they made; one lounging against the edge of the table with his feet kicked out and one sitting elegantly with a goblet in his hand.

Trevor glanced at the goblet, quirking an eyebrow to which Alucard chuckled, "Worry not, Belmont. Its mere wine, nothing else."

"I think someone may be disappointed at that."

"He's used to it. It isn't like Father never drinks anything besides blood."

Trevor drank some more, watching together with the dhampir as they friends celebrated along with the creatures of darkness. "Hey Alucard," the human suddenly said. "Pinch me."

"Hm?"

"Just so that I can be sure that this not a hallucination and my life really did turn weird."

Alucard snorted. "I can assure you, Belmont. You're quite awake. Nor can you put this on intoxication."

"Soon. I'm getting there," the human looked down at his tankard. "So, did not have a chance to ask; how are you taking this?"

Immortal hmm'ed. "I have to admit, I did not see this outcome. I was positive that Father was... how should I put it... beyond any reasoning. To think that he would pull this stunt..."

"That's not the answer, Fangs."

Glowering at the nickname, the half-breed answered, "Fine. I do not like the way it happened but I do not dislike it." Looking at Trevor, he smiled lightly. "I quite like you, Belmont. Even if you can be infuriating about ninety-percent of time."

"Think that I can tolerate your smartass attitude constantly, bat-breath?" Trevor scoffed. "Alright yeah, I like you too. It's just -"

"You wanted to wed Lady Sypha, didn't you?"

"How did you -"

"Belmont," Alucard sighed as he lowered his drink. "If you'd paid any attention, this wedding is not done in the name of God or blessed by Him."

"Please don't tell me they called for the Devil to bless this thing," Trevor groaned. "Because I think your father's more than enough for that thing."

Alucard rolled his eyes before continuing, "In the eyes of humanity and their religion, you are still a free man. You can still wed her."

"And big bad daddy won't object?"

"He won't. As long as you honour your vows."

Being tied to both a Speaker with an ability to incinerate him and a dhampir-son of his Clan's worst enemy?

Oh well, Belmonts were always an odd bunch anyway. But just to be clear here; "You do not mind that, do you?"

Alucard's eyes glowed. "Not at all. Indeed, it could prove... interesting."

Trevor blinked before gulping down a mouthful of ale, trying not to let his mind wander in certain places. Not when they were in close proximity of a certain overprotective vampire. 

Calmed down, he could not help but jab, "I'm not carrying you over the threshold, bloodsucker."

"There goes my one dream."

"Alright, you are never allowed to joke. EVER."

Both men laughed heartily before clanging "glasses" together.

"Congratulations on your marriage, Adrian Fahrenheit Ţepeş."

"Same for you, Trevor Belmont."

While taking a sip from their drinks, Trevor suddenly thought of something, looking pale as he stared at Alucard. "...Your father's not expecting grandkids, right?"

**Author's Note:**

> Just for a note; whatever Drac's on, I want some too.
> 
>  
> 
> And yes, Alucard's wedding clothes are his _Symphony of the Night_ attire. They work well.


End file.
